Безгрешный: лишенный возможности грешить.
A S T O R Y O F D R U N K T H R E E
Note
First performed in the spring 2009 at the International Christian University by a group of initiative students.
Dramatic Personae
Mrs. Warren – the one, cruelly killed / the Ghost
Lizzie – mean Mrs. Warren’s sister
Vivie – businesswoman, Mrs. Warren’s daughter
Algernon – really tough detective
Cecily – hysterical Algernon’s wife
Gabriel – coward witness
Farrington – strange security officer
Frank – first suspect
Little Chandler – diffident advocate
читать дальше
:: Scene 1 ::
Whorehouse in London
Whorehouse in London
Music: “Lady Marmelade”
Mrs Warren enters the room, singing a melody of Moulin Rouge like “na na na”
Mrs.Warren: Gooood. Business is running, like a Swiss clock. (Looking at herself in the mirror) Just can’t be better. (“Pretty Lady Maarmalaaade”)… She shouldn’t be jealous. It was her decision, anyway, to quit the…
Knock-knockz
Mrs.Warren: Come in!
Lizzie enters.
Lizzie: Darling! Lovely to see you!
Mrs.Warren: Lovely to see you, too.
Pretending a “hi” kisses.
Lizzie: So, what’s new, my dear sister? Still not about to quit this whole thing, do you?
Mrs.Warren: You know perfectly well I won’t quit! This is the only real thing I’m good at and besides – this is like home for me. What else do I have? A daughter, that hates me?
Lizzie: Glad you’ve mentioned me…
Mrs.Warren: Oh, did I hurt your feelings? I’m so not sorry…
Lizzie: Never expected more than that. Did you hear that more and more public houses are opening in London?
Mrs.Warren: But no one can compete with mine. We got reputation that will keep our girls working even if the whole city turns into the public house.
Lizzie: True. You are a strong competitor and it’s always easier to destroy such brands rather than compete with them…
Mrs.Warren: What do you mean? (becomes alerted)
Lizzie: Just warning you that jealousy is a very strong motivator, especially for business people. It would be terrible if something happens to you.
Mrs.Warren: Are you threatening me?
Lizzie: Hahaha. Depends on whether you scared or not.
Mrs.Warren: You know I’m not scared of some young punks playing PIMPS!
Lizzie: Well, I thought you would answer like that. I hope you know what you are doing, then. And I hope my sister still has something hidden in her sleeves. In other words, take care, my dear. (Walks out)
Mrs.Warren: “Take care my dear”… Is she nuts? They won’t even dare to touch me. Cause I’m a “Pretty Lady Maarmalaaade”…
:: Scene 2 ::
Vivie’s apartment
Vivie’s apartment
Music: “Bang-Bang..”
Vivie typing. Enters Mrs.Warren’s Ghost.
Mrs.Warren: Oh, my God! I’m a freaking Ghost! (comes to Vivie) Are you scared of me?
Vivie: Aaa! I hate you, Bill Gates! What’s the point of spending billions to produce cra-ah-ah-ah
It is time 4 her to take her pills. She tries to grab them, but her mother pushes them away. Vivie goes around the room thinking. “If the pills are moving, so there is someone to move them…” Suddenly she recognizes her mother.
Mrs.Warren: Darling, it’s me!
Vivie: Mom, you are transparent. Why is it so?
Mrs.Warren: Am I pale or smth? (o_O)
Vivie: Well, better than average, anyway. What happened?
Mrs.Warren: I don’t have much time. My time is running out. If only I had a little more time. It’s like the sand running through my fingers.
Vivie: Mom…
Mrs.Warren: Oh, yeah. I’m dead! I was murdered! It was so awful! (Attempts to sit on a chair, but falls to the floor. Starts to cry, unable to say anything. Vivie picks the phone and dials the number. Mrs. Warren gives the address: “Broad Sanctuary SW1”)
:: Scene 3 ::
Vast bedroom
Vast bedroom
Music: “I Wanna Be Loved By You”
Algeron is bored to hell. Cecily introduces her new dress.
Cecily: Or this one? Here we can put a bow-knot and I’ll have some bracelets here.. (shows her hands). Enjoy my earrings, they are marvellous. I’ve ordered them to the best jeweller in London. You can’t imagine what it had cost to me...
Algernon: You’re great, whatever you wear.
Cecily: Darling, do look happy! And hurry up! I’m ready to set off. You always make me wait for you!! Pick up your fat ass from that chair!!! But what horrid clothes do you have got on! Do go and change them.
Algernon: But, darling…! (cell phone rings). Yeah, yeah, ok… Sorry, hun. I have to go. My duty calls! (stand up and sets off)
Cecily: Oh, that same old duty again! It’s always same excuses! You become predictable, hon, let me guess – another friend bunbury got drunk, had a fight with a couple of democrats and got in jail and you have to get him out?
Algernon: They were liberals. Anyway, no. The owner of whorehouse net was murdered. They gave the case to me and I have to go.
Cecily: Oh, how exciting! Wait for me, pumpkin!
:: Scene 4 ::
Whorehouse in London
Whorehouse in London
Music: “Pink Panter”
Farrington is standing in the doors, not letting Gabriel to get out of the room.
Gabriel: Sir, I really have to go. If only you could just move… a little bit… (tries to move the guardian aside)
Farrington: Stop annoying me! I’m tired of your “mur-mur-in” I suspect you so you become a suspect, and if you are a suspect I should keep you until police comes so I can fulfil my duty as the citizen of this noble country, just as my father did, when he was young and …
Gabriel: But sir…!
Farrington: "Mur-mur-mur"
Enter Algernon and Cecily
Algernon: London Police, everybody keep your places.
Algeron sees the corpse.
Algernon: Time of death?
Farrington: 7:11.
Algernon: Cause of death? Unknown.
Farrington: Mr.Detective, I’ve caught a suspect. I started suspecting him from the first moment his suspected figure …
Gabriel: For heaven’s sake! Get me away from him! Plead not guilty.
Cecily: (from the behind of husband's back) Do be nice! There is some good in everyone. And surely, there must be much good in one, who is so well clothed and convinced in his self innocence!
Vivie enters.
Vivie: Where is the detective?
Mrs.Warren: (coming right beside her) I think he is a handsome man over there. (pinches the detective)
Vivie: You! Detective?
Algernon: Algernon, and you must be Vivie?
Vivie: Yes. I came as soon as I could. Do you have any clues what had happened?
Mrs.Warren (looking at her dead body): “I’m so pale…and my hair…Look at my hair!!! (has a good look at Cecily): “ I don’t remember you working for me.”
Algernon: Oh, yeah, I’m getting a clue (checks Vivie out) … Well, I’ve found a note saying this was a suicide. Quite common case, if you ask me. Here is the note:
There was but one thing keeping me alive
A meager ray of light rending the darkest days
Yet in my back she stabbed me with a knife
Abandoned me for nothing but my ways
With none to shine, with none to light my path
My journey’s done, life ceases to exist.
A farewell kiss, with dignity and glory
I’ll make a step to where my soul will rest.
Mrs.Warren: a step to where my soul will rest... Oh, yeah, I’m really feeling like on vacations now! Who wrote this?
Vivie: You did mom!
Mrs.Warren: HA! If I could rhyme like that, I would be seeing men and reading them poems, not…
Algernon: How easy.. Poor, lonely Mrs.Warren, even her luxurious life couldn’t make her happy. An awful suicide…
Mrs.Warren: this wasn’t me who wrote this note! Vivie, tell him.
Vivie: Mr.Detective, I will not ever believe that mom had committed suicide! It’s not like her.
Algernon: But the note?..
Vivie: (glances at her mother) Yes, It is fake. She says so. The handwriting is different.
Algernon: (totally confused) Who says so?
Vivie: Well, my mom, of course. She is taking to me!
Cecily: (whispers from behind of his shoulder) Darling leave her alone… An insane daughter of a dead prostitute… let us go, pleeease!!!
Algernon: (smiles) I think we should find a better place to discuss the thing. And where is our suspect?
Gabriel: I’d prefer you call me Gabriel. I’m Gabriel Conroy, sir.. (worries a lot)
Algernon: And what are you doing here Gabriel?
Gabriel: The point is that.. Errrm. I really would not like to discuss it in the presence of ladies.
Algernon: As you wish. We can discuss it at my office. Miss Warren, let me show you the way, I must have a word with you.
Cecily: Oh, Wait! I haven’t seen the body yet!
Sees the body, pretends loosing consciousness and tries to fall down into Algernon’s arms. Farrington catches her.
:: Scene 5 ::
A café
A café
Music: “Midsummer Murders”
Enters Vivie and Algeron. Mrs.Warren wanders somewhere around.
Vivie: Do you consider me not right in the head? She is talking to the ghost of her mother and refuses to acknowledge the evidence note on that basis… I understand…
Algernon: Upon my word, if I thought that, I’d shoot myself! Well, I’m hungry… (makes a pause, orders smth) So, you don’t think there is any chance for her to have committed suicide?
Vivie: Is that clever? It would have been very unpractical of her to deprive herself of life pleasures she had been trying to obtain for so long.
Algernon: I guess it was awfully hard work doing nothing.
Vivie: I don’t care for that, I assure you. Come closer to the point, please.
Algernon: Did she have enemies, capable of murdering her?
Mrs.Warren: (wanders around) As every beautiful woman, I had a lot of men in love with me. But the point is that there were too much of them and I guess some were in conflict. However I tried hard to keep a distance. You know, now it is difficult to think of all the names…
Vivie: (interrupts) A lot of unknown admirers.
Algernon: Can you name some of the closest friends?
Mrs.Warren: Jack, Praed, George, (dreamy) Gabriel…
Vivie: (writes the names and gives to detective)
Algernon: And… SHE… didn’t tell you, who she assume to be the murderer?
Mrs.Warren: Definitely, a man of taste. Who else could compose such a masterpiece for me, even though I was already dead?
Vivie: No, she doesn’t know.
Algernon: …
Enters Lizzie, Vivie notices her.
Vivie: (to Algernon) My Aunt! Here is Mrs. Warren’s sister! (to Lizzie) We’re here!
Lizzie: Oh, Vivie, how unexpected… (seems not very happy)
Vivie: Can you imagine, Mom is dead!
Lizzie: (sits down) What a pity! Who could have thought…
Mrs. Warren: Yeah, you were right.
Vivie: About what?!
Mrs.Warren: She tried to warn me that I was in danger.
Vivie: In DANGER?!
Algernon: About what? Danger???
Lizzie: Danger?
Mrs.Warren: She said I could have been murdered.
Vivie: You could have been murdered? Who had threatened you?!
Lizzie: I’ve just remembered, I have to go.. I have a meeting… Right now.
Algernon: Wait. Everybody keep their places until I have the whole picture of the “Danger”.
Algernon has a conversation with Lizzie and finds out some new and useful information.
:: Scene 6 ::
Algernon’s House
Algernon’s House
Music: “Midsummer Murders”
A room. Enters Algeron, Cecily is sitting on the chair, wobbling.
Cecily: You have missed the dinner. Lady Bracknell and Jack were upset.
Algernon: Tell them to come round next week, at the same hour. (indifferent)
Cecily: You ignore my existence!
Algernon: Why on the earth did you think so? What had I done wrong?! All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does – that is why we can never understand each other, I guess. I had a business meeting, you know.
Cecily: I had never met so wicked person before! A business meeting with a woman that dragged out for 4 hours!!! And, of course, your mobile had immediately discharged. How comfortable!
Algernon: (sighs) Darling, I’m not wicked at all, you shouldn’t think of me like that. I’ve just had a lot questions to ask her about the ghost of her mother and it was painful to part from such mine of information.
Cecily: It is always painful to part from people whom one has known for a very brief space of time! (folds arms on her chest and adds ironically) For you even a momentary separation from anyone to whom you just has been introduced is almost unbearable!
Algernon: Oh, well. I’m afraid, I have no more time for your attempts to foster conscience in me. Would you mind my reforming myself next afternoon?
Cecily: (refuses to utter a word)
Algernon: Anyway, I’m hungry. Would you like to hear the last news?
:: Scene 7 ::
The police department
The police department
Music: “Midsummer Murders”
Algernon and Gabriel having a conversation, shows photos.
Gabriel: Nope..
Algernon: And this one?
Gabriel: Nah, not this one either. Stop! This one! I saw him leaving just when I came.
Algernon: Are you sure? That’s interesting.
Enters Farrington, pulling Frank.
Farrington: …and everyone of us should fulfil our duty, as the citizens of this god blessed country, just as our fathers did…here we go. (Sits Frank on the seat)
Frank: Don’t tell me that it’s all about that one time I haven’t paid the parking ticket. Common, guys, there was no prohibiting sign!!
Algernon: If I were you, I wouldn’t care for the parking ticket. I think you’d better just confess and we’ll get over with this!
Frank: Confess of what?
Enters Little Chandler.
L.Chandler: You have no rights, sir! I’m going to sue you and you and you all, if you please, and I’m going to sue the police, and I’m going to sue you all so hard, if you please...
Algernon: You know what, dirty liar! You killed the poor MW and now are playing with me! Get over your cheap games and confess!
L.Chandler: Don’t answer it Frank! Don’t answer it!
Frank: MW is dead!? Oh no….I….I…I didn’t know that. Poor MW, we weren’t too close in recent years.
Algernon: Huh.. So you claim you didn’t kill her?
L.Chandler: Don’t answer it Frank! I’m going to sue those guys, if you please...
Frank: Me??? OF Course not!! I can’t say I liked her very much, that’s why we weren’t close. But what’s the point for me to kill her? I’m not a murderer!
Algernon: Get him arrested until all circumstances are clarified.
Frank is taken away with L. Chandler crying about the rights.
:: Scene 8 ::
A Café
A Café
Music: “Midsummer Murders”
Cecily. Enters Chandler.
Cecily: (whispers) Are you sure there was no tail?
Chandler: But, of course! I have a question, if you please. You are a wife of a detective summoning the suspect’s layer! What for?
Cecily: You see, Mr. Chandler, I have my own vision of the whole murder case and I believe it is similar to yours.
Chandler: What do you mean?
Cecily: Algernon is about to prove Frank is a murderer. I don’t care about whether it is true or not. I don’t seek truth, nor I need Frank to be accused and sent to jail. I think you understand what I mean…
Chandler: This is outrageous! Nor I neither Frank had ever broken the law!! And with truth by our side I believe justice will prevail!
Cecily: (Clapping) A great speech. But I’m not the jury. And I know my husband. If he wants Frank to be found guilty than the truth itself is helpless. Gabriel had recognized Frank, as the one who was at Mrs.Warren’s place at the time of murder. This is a problem, isn’t it? But I can help you.
Chandler: And why would you do that?
Cecily: What a wife needs? Tell me, what a poor wife needs to be happy? Only her dear husband around and nothing else. But this Vivie! Oh, she is taking my little Algy away from me! And I can’t let it happen. I can’t let her ruin our perfect marriage!!
Chandler: You want to cross her up?! But it’s a crime!
Cecily: But isn’t flirting with a happily married man a much harsher crime!? And making his loving wife suffer! You should put a death penalty for that!!
Chandler: But, if you please, are you sure it wasn’t he, who started the flirting thing?
Cecily: My Algy? No!! He loves me more than anything! And why do you care!? You should now decide are you with me or not?
Chandler: But how is it possible? How to falsify the evidence?
Cecily: If you stop crying out questions, you just may hear the answers! Here is what we are going to do…
:: Scene 9 ::
Police Department
Police Department
Music: “Poirot Theme”
Algernon at the Police Department, thinking. Characters float before his eyes, while Algernon goes over the options… Detective solves the problem and....
T H E E N D
@музыка: тсс! не испугайте музу
@настроение: тик-так.. тик-так